There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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