Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
