It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
