There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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