in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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