So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
