spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
