i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
