Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
