she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
