I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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