Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
