It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
