You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
this will be a night to untag.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
