Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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