He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
