At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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