He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
