If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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