Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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