Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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