I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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