So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
