he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
