The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
