Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
