So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
