Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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