I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
