This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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