I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i love accidental penises.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
