I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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