did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
