his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
