Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
