hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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