is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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