And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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