woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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