using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
