1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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