Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
