Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
