Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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