Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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