Christians are straight up FREAKS
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
