Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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