"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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