If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
