so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
