So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
