I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
